Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jason’s Favorite Part

Post #24

Sadly for both of us, it was time for Jason to return home because he did not have much time off work.

I asked, “What was your favorite part of the trip?”

To my surprise, he said, “Drinking the fresh, pure glacial water at Perito Moreno. That was the best water I’ve ever had in my life.”

And the biggest bonus of all: Jason wants to return, which gives him a positive goal to work toward. After all the horrible things he has been through, especially losing his older brother Tristan in 2015 to a heroin overdose, this makes me very happy.

El Calafate Dogs

Post #7

And dogs. Big dogs. Everywhere.

Apparently, they “belong” to the community. They hardly ever bark. I am guessing the locals provide food and water.

They lounge in the sun, greet visitors, and hang out… even in front of the meat counter inside grocery stores.

Different culture!

Pure Joy

Post #3
We flew to Buenos Aires, then boarded for our next flight.
While getting on the airplane, I saw pure joy on Jason’s face. What a treat that was for me to see, after all he had been through—the end-stage cancer journey I endured from 2009-2011, with everyone certain I would die; the breakup of our family; and his older brother Tristan’s two years of addiction and then overdose death in 2015.
Jason had been through sooo much and now had come out on the other side.
My heart sang.
As we flew across Argentina, outside my window I saw strange marks on the ground—lines and circles. I thought, “Surely not Nasca lines in Argentina.” They turned out to be the result of mining.
Later we crossed over the beautiful turquoise Santa Cruz River, set against reddish clay soil. It was gorgeous.
We soon arrived in El Calafate in the Andes Mountains of Patagonia.

2024 Editing Grant

During 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and this winter I won Artists with Disabilities Access Grants from the Ohio Arts Council. I am using them for valuable editing assistance for 63 Coping Strategies for those grieving a loss to addiction. We are preparing for the publication of my book, When You Lose Someone to Addiction. This time Judy Levin will help me move my writing to the next level, making it even more open-hearted, warm, and readable.
I am grateful for the opportunity the OAC gives me to work with Judy Levin!

2021 Editing Grant

During 2018, 2019, 2020, and this summer I won art grants from the Ohio Arts Council. I am using them for valuable editing assistance from Mary Langford for the narrative about my son’s life and 60+ Coping Strategies for those grieving a loss to addiction. We are preparing for the publication of my book, Grieving an Addict. Mary helps me move my writing to the next level, making it even more open-hearted, warm, and readable. During this grant cycle we are focusing on rhythm in my writing.
I am grateful for the opportunity the OAC gives me to work with Mary, who not only has natural talent, but who spent years at the right hand of the master storyteller Sidney Sheldon!

Gratitude for Brightly

There is always something for which we can be grateful. Even when we are in deep and terrible mourning. Even when we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic.

For some, Covid is providing a time for creativity to flower beautifully and freely. One such person is Connie Lasorso, who wrote her first book, The Fairy Beck: A True Love Story.

I am honored to be in her book through the character Brightly. I cried when I read this fairy’s description:

“The fairies were sampling the newest batch of Brightly’s summer rose elixir. Brightly was an expert gardener of roses and she was a fine maker of elixirs. She had rose colored wings and wore a thorn as a necklace. The thorn stood as a symbol for loss. Annabelle wondered about the thorn but did not ask about it. Some thorns are private. Annabelle dimly recalled the two thorns she had noticed on Kricky’s table.

“The essence from the rose flower had a very high vibrational level which caused every fairy who drank it to lift into the air as if they had troubles maintaining gravity.”

The rose thorn is such a great symbol for the loss of a child because it represents the pain of grieving a deep love.

Connie did not know that a year after my son Tristan overdosed on heroin for his third and final time, I had picked up a bag of rose petals for tea-making. I love the aroma and savor the flavor. I save this delicate drink for special occasions when I feel like I need a little lift.

Like the fairies who lift into the air when they drink Brightly’s rose elixir.

Perfect, Connie. Thank you for this great honor.

Source:

The Fairy Beck: A True Love Story by Connie Lasorso, pages 102-103, available at https://the-beck-bookstore.myshopify.com/

4th Grant for Editing

During 2018, 2019, and this summer I won art grants from the Ohio Arts Council. I am using them for valuable editing assistance from Mary Langford for the narrative about my son’s life and 60+ Coping Strategies. We are preparing for the publication of my book, Grieving an Addict. Mary helps me move my writing to the next level, making it even more open-hearted, warm, and readable.

I am grateful for the opportunity the OAC gives me to work with Mary, who not only has natural talent, but who spent years years at the right hand of the master storyteller Sidney Sheldon!

Sign in a Fawn

 Do you long for a sign from your dear one who has passed on? Do you receive possible signs, yet wonder if they really mean something? Or do you find that synchronicities show up in your life that are so amazing you find it hard not to believe they are gifts from your departed loved one?

I feel fortunate to have been given another wonderful sign this year, on the fifth angelversary of my son’s final overdose. The first astonishing synchronicity arrived just before that first horrible Christmas without Tristan. An unordered gift box appeared on my deck, and the sender said I could keep it.

Last year a gifted tea rose had exactly four blossoms on exactly my son’s fourth birthday in heaven. It has not produced a single blossom since.

The third most amazing gift arrived on Friday, the day before Tristan’s fifth angelversary. I was startled to find a beautiful little fawn curled up in my garden only six feet away from where I was working on my deck. She stayed in that spot all that Friday and all through Saturday, the day my son left our world five years ago.

I spent as much time as I could on my deck, despite temps in the mid-90s, to be near that fawn. Not for her safety—nature was doing its best to take care of her—but for my own sake. I was surprised to feel a sweet sense of solace from being near her, because her doe-eyed gentleness and innocence reached out and enveloped me.

On Sunday morning when I walked outside, she was frantically pacing along the south side of my yard, distressed because her mommy stood on the other side of the short fence. At one point the fawn turned around and ran directly toward me. I did not want to frighten her, so I talked softly while slowly moving a hand. The motion caught her attention and she abruptly stopped. She stared at me for a breathless moment; then she wheeled and ran back toward her mommy. She soon found her way through the fence.

This lovely creature spent two days with me, the two exact days I would have wanted her here. The two days when I most needed a little extra comfort in my life.

Did my son, or something else, arrange the perfect timing of this beautiful gift? I’d like to believe so. I choose to receive these moments of grace as Divine gifts to help ease my way, to help me know my son is still with me and that our love goes on into eternity.

What is the best synchronicity you have received since losing your loved one?