Post #5
Beautiful flowers…
El Calafate Buildings
Post #4
El Calafate sports colorful buildings, including a painting of beautiful guanacos, which are believed to be the ancestors of llamas and alpacas.
Pure Joy
Post #3
We flew to Buenos Aires, then boarded for our next flight.
While getting on the airplane, I saw pure joy on Jason’s face. What a treat that was for me to see, after all he had been through—the end-stage cancer journey I endured from 2009-2011, with everyone certain I would die; the breakup of our family; and his older brother Tristan’s two years of addiction and then overdose death in 2015.
Jason had been through sooo much and now had come out on the other side.
My heart sang.
As we flew across Argentina, outside my window I saw strange marks on the ground—lines and circles. I thought, “Surely not Nasca lines in Argentina.” They turned out to be, I was later told, the result of mining.
Later we crossed over the beautiful turquoise Santa Cruz River, set against reddish clay soil. It was gorgeous.
We soon arrived in El Calafate in the Andes Mountains of Patagonia.
Pure Joy
Post #3
We flew to Buenos Aires, then boarded for our next flight.
While getting on the airplane, I saw pure joy on Jason’s face. What a treat that was for me to see, after all he had been through—the end-stage cancer journey I endured from 2009-2011, with everyone certain I would die; the breakup of our family; and his older brother Tristan’s two years of addiction and then overdose death in 2015.
Jason had been through sooo much and now had come out on the other side.
My heart sang.
As we flew across Argentina, outside my window I saw strange marks on the ground—lines and circles. I thought, “Surely not Nasca lines in Argentina.” They turned out to be the result of mining.
Later we crossed over the beautiful turquoise Santa Cruz River, set against reddish clay soil. It was gorgeous.
We soon arrived in El Calafate in the Andes Mountains of Patagonia.
A Pocket for the Penguin
I needed a new waist pack for our trip, so about a week before leaving I headed to Roads Rivers and Trails in Cincinnati and selected the most suitable one for my needs. But it was odd, having pouches on each side of the main compartment with no closures. I asked the sales rep, “What are these for?”
She didn’t know.
A few days later came the inspiration, probably from Tristan, to take his little penguin on our trip since we were going so close to Antarctica. The open pouch turned out to be perfect for carrying the bird–it would give him a perch for a perfect bird’s-eye view of the whole trip.
Jason, and many people we encountered, loved it.
Dream Trip
I lost my 19-year-old son Tristan to a heroin overdose in June 2015. My younger son, whom I will call Jason, still managed to graduate from high school a year later.
College, however, was difficult for him. To inspire him to attain graduation, I told him his gift would be a trip. I asked Jason, “If you could travel anywhere in the world, what place would you want to visit?
He told me, “Patagonia.”
I thought, “How am I going to manage a trip to Patagonia? I have never been south of the equator, don’t speak Spanish, and am concerned about internet access. And Jason has never been out of the country.”
However, I later met a woman who had grown up in Argentina but lived in the United States. I told her about my son’s dream, and she said she was returning to Argentina and would be happy to be part of our journey.
It took several years, but Jason graduated—and began working a salaried job. I was thrilled!
So, in early March we boarded planes and finally arrived in El Calafate, Patagonia. At the last minute, on a whim, I decided to bring along Tristan’s small beanie penguin to symbolically represent him with us.
I will be posting photos of our journey with Tristan’s penguin. I hope they bring you a smile.
2024 Editing Grant
During 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and this winter I won Artists with Disabilities Access Grants from the Ohio Arts Council. I am using them for valuable editing assistance for 63 Coping Strategies for those grieving a loss to addiction. We are preparing for the publication of my book, When You Lose Someone to Addiction. This time Judy Levin will help me move my writing to the next level, making it even more open-hearted, warm, and readable.
I am grateful for the opportunity the OAC gives me to work with Judy Levin!
Love You
Your irreplaceable loved one is gone. You have a gaping hole in your life where love once lived. Now you are faced with the holiday season.
It can feel so terribly lonely.
Yet that love still lives, inside of you. You are that love. Please do not abandon yourself.
Just think. You are the magnificent result of two tiny cells you can’t even see. Those cells joined together in an incomprehensible union that multiplied and multiplied and multiplied. Imagine the tremendous amount of life-force energy expended to create … you.
Amazing you.
Incredible you.
A you who is utterly unique.
Look at your hands. What beautiful things they have done for you all your life. They serve you nearly every moment of the day, without question, without asking anything in return.
Look at your legs. They have carried you all through your life, without question, without asking anything in return.
And your heart. It pumps life-giving blood into every cell of your body, dozens of times every single minute. Without question. Without asking anything in return.
Look outside at the plants. They grow, they create leaves, they bless the world with blossoms. Without question. Without asking anything in return. They are worthy of appreciation just by being what they are.
How much more worthy of love, gratitude, and care are you? By yourself? Without anyone else in the picture?
So offer it to yourself.
Maybe spritz on a nice fragrance and focus on the aroma.
Maybe make yourself a special meal or order out for your favorite foods.
Maybe take a warm, comforting bath and add fresh blossoms so they float around you.
You are the center of your own universe. Love you. Appreciate you. Care for you. Your dear one is cheering you on, and so am I.
2021 Editing Grant
During 2018, 2019, 2020, and this summer I won art grants from the Ohio Arts Council. I am using them for valuable editing assistance from Mary Langford for the narrative about my son’s life and 60+ Coping Strategies for those grieving a loss to addiction. We are preparing for the publication of my book, Grieving an Addict. Mary helps me move my writing to the next level, making it even more open-hearted, warm, and readable. During this grant cycle we are focusing on rhythm in my writing.
I am grateful for the opportunity the OAC gives me to work with Mary, who not only has natural talent, but who spent years at the right hand of the master storyteller Sidney Sheldon!
Perfect TEN!
Ten years ago, my CT scan showed a cancerous half-inch nodule squatting on the pulmonary vein next to my heart.
SHT.
After two years of sarcoma treatment, I had just used up my last chemotherapy option. Now what? I felt so screwed.
Five weeks later, when surgeon Patrick Ross operated, that bugger had swollen to 2.5 inches.
That’s aggressive growth.
I can’t tell from the surgical report if he even got clean margins. Who could, with such a dangerous location?
During my post-operation appointment, the nurse practitioner told me she’d seen situations like mine for thirty years. “You need to get back on chemotherapy or get ready for Hospice.”
My mouth went dry, my throat constricted, and my pulse raced. If the nurse was right, I would probably be dead within a few months.
OMG, NO… I had boys to raise and books to write and life to live.
I soon saw my psychotherapist, who witnessed and guided me as I allowed the terror to simply be in my body. Then it flipped into anger, and I stopped breathing, except for quick gasps. Finally, she returned my mind to the room. I shook and shuddered, then relaxed. My chest tingled and emotionally I felt nothing. Then I moved into peace.
Tai Chi Grandmaster Vince Lasorso later pointed out to me how easy it is to slip into feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, emptiness, loneliness, and being forsaken. No one can face death with you—it’s a solitary assignment. A dark depression, induced by the chemicals of medicine and mind, can extinguish all faith.
“It’s during these times when one must look to the light,” he wrote. “Reliance on God can change your course at any second.”
He was right.
Despite the dire warning, I continued healing my life in every way I knew how, clearing out emotional garbage and removing what Vince called “bad thinks.” Generous and gentle people helped me every step of the way.
Ever since that terrible day in 2011, my scans have been completely free of any evidence of cancer. And I have also been completely free of all cancer treatment.
This month it’s the Perfect Ten (years)!
I find this truly miraculous, not only because of the deadly and persistent diagnosis I had, but also because I have remained healthy despite going through a divorce and losing my 19-year-old son to a heroin overdose in 2015.
Medical treatment bought me time. All the inner healing work I did, and my deepening connection with the Divine, kept me sane and safe.
I now offer what I learned through Coaching. If you or someone you know would like a free initial consultation, feel free to call me at 513 444 0190.
I also will be speaking on “A Conversation with Dis-ease” at noon on Sunday, November 21, 2021 at the Body Mind Spirit Expo, Sharonville Convention Center in Cincinnati.
I look forward to connecting with you!